You have no idea
Dear X,
You have no idea the impact you have had on me. When we first met, i was ecstatic to meet someone who have the same interests, a similar level of aggression towards their goals and someone who i can go to for just about anything. We made fun of stupid things people did and i felt that you were just another version of me and that's a rare find. You made me feel more confident about who i am and what i can do. i was in a good place. i was positive, bubbly and most of all appreciative of life. i loved life.
But it was not long after where i realized you may not be all that interested. Saying you were "busy", not replying after days, ignoring me when i call you out and asking what is wrong. You avoided every conflict with "you think too much". That put layers of doubts in my head. Maybe you were right, i think too much, maybe i care too much, maybe you just didn't see me in the same light i saw you. I miss you. Every time we made plans, a thought in the back of my mind will whisper, "will he be there", too often have plans been dismissed because you had something more important going on. We saw each other probably every fortnight, how did that not raised a red flag with me? i don't know, maybe because i like you and was willing to forgive.
i can't stand being an afterthought. I know you have work, travels and what not but that doesn't mean you can play with me whenever you get sick of your cool toys. You made me doubt myself more than anything, and you have the audacity to just waltz back in with a reply after days of leaving me hanging mid conversation. Why would you do that to me? Were there other chicks you were doing the same things too, and they were okay with it? Every time i tried to make you feel good with a compliment or something nice, you just discarded the comment or completely ignore it. You told me that you thought i wasn't into you. Why can't you see that i am so into you I'm trying my hardest to keep you.
The good times were really fucking amazing. The day we went to the market, the day where you had tonsillitis but we still went out for movies, or that first time you hugged me and rubbed your stubble on my face. Those were all great, but it was the mind-fuck you put me in that makes everything so fucked up. If you liked that me that much, why didn't you put more effort into it. And if you didn't like me that much or at all, why wouldn't you just tell me at the start and save me the time and emotions.
Why did you do what you did?
You have no idea the impact you have had on me. When we first met, i was ecstatic to meet someone who have the same interests, a similar level of aggression towards their goals and someone who i can go to for just about anything. We made fun of stupid things people did and i felt that you were just another version of me and that's a rare find. You made me feel more confident about who i am and what i can do. i was in a good place. i was positive, bubbly and most of all appreciative of life. i loved life.
But it was not long after where i realized you may not be all that interested. Saying you were "busy", not replying after days, ignoring me when i call you out and asking what is wrong. You avoided every conflict with "you think too much". That put layers of doubts in my head. Maybe you were right, i think too much, maybe i care too much, maybe you just didn't see me in the same light i saw you. I miss you. Every time we made plans, a thought in the back of my mind will whisper, "will he be there", too often have plans been dismissed because you had something more important going on. We saw each other probably every fortnight, how did that not raised a red flag with me? i don't know, maybe because i like you and was willing to forgive.
i can't stand being an afterthought. I know you have work, travels and what not but that doesn't mean you can play with me whenever you get sick of your cool toys. You made me doubt myself more than anything, and you have the audacity to just waltz back in with a reply after days of leaving me hanging mid conversation. Why would you do that to me? Were there other chicks you were doing the same things too, and they were okay with it? Every time i tried to make you feel good with a compliment or something nice, you just discarded the comment or completely ignore it. You told me that you thought i wasn't into you. Why can't you see that i am so into you I'm trying my hardest to keep you.
The good times were really fucking amazing. The day we went to the market, the day where you had tonsillitis but we still went out for movies, or that first time you hugged me and rubbed your stubble on my face. Those were all great, but it was the mind-fuck you put me in that makes everything so fucked up. If you liked that me that much, why didn't you put more effort into it. And if you didn't like me that much or at all, why wouldn't you just tell me at the start and save me the time and emotions.
Why did you do what you did?
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